Child Custody in Ontario: The Impact of Parental Alienation
- nichollealtitudeb2
- 2 days ago
- 6 min read
When parents separate, one of the challenges they may face is determining who makes major decisions for the children, and how much time each parent will spend with them.
Disputes over parenting schedules are emotionally tasking on families, particularly on children, where they are not shielded from adult/parental conflict. In making parenting time orders, the Ontario Courts prioritize the children’s best interests. However, in parental alienation cases, the task of determining a child’s best interest is more complicated, especially where an older child expresses a wish or preference to have little or no contact with one parent. Often, this drastic disposition from a child is indicative of an undue influence from the other parent. But figuring out what that means in your specific situation isn’t always easy, or clear.
That’s where a family lawyer can help. Let’s see what they have to say below.
Parental alienation: What are the risk factors?
Leading literature on child psychology and family dysfunction explains that there are many factors that can contribute to the development of different types of parent-child contact problems. Widely recognized factors include:
Child factors (age, cognitive capacity, temperament, vulnerability, special needs and resilience);
Parent conflict before and after the separation;
Sibling relationships;
Favoured parent factors (parenting style and capacity, negative beliefs and behaviours, mental health, and personality, including responsiveness and willingness to change);
Rejected parent factors (parenting style and capacity, negative reactions, beliefs and behaviours, mental health, and personality, including willingness to change);
The adversarial process/litigation;
Third parties such as aligned professionals and extended family; and
Lack of functional coparenting, and poor or conflictual parental communication.
Parental alienation: Blameworthy Conduct
The cluster of parental behaviour indicating the presence of alienation in a child include:
Portraying the other parent as dangerous;
Exaggerating and exploiting the other parent’s behaviour, negative attributes and challenges;
Undermining the other parent;
Parentifying the child;
Oversharing legal and other inappropriate information with children;
Co-opting children as messengers, spies and confidants;
Conspiring with children to withhold information, keep secrets and mislead the other parent;
Surreptitiously contacting the children when they are with the other parent;
Withholding parenting time and being inflexible around scheduling;
Withholding love and affection from the child if they do not share and act on the parent’s views;
Disparaging the other parent’s family members;
Co-opting neighbours, therapists, school personnel and others in an effort to garner support and turn them against the other parent; and
Believing it is their right, supporting or permitting a child or adolescent to make a life altering decision to never see a parent again.
These conducts are problematic and certainly not in a child’s best interest. They might create temporary feelings of attachment, alliance or support for the controlling parent. However, research has shown that there can be long-term consequences overtime in these cases, where they may grow to resent the alienating parent if they feel that they missed out on developing a relationship with the other parent or if they felt that they are manipulated in some way as a child. Additionally, research indicates that children who are exposed to alienating behaviour are at a higher risk of not reaching their optimal potential in various adult milestones, such as education, employment, relationships, and even their own parenting abilities.
While there are cases in which a child’s rejection is totally the fault of one parent, in most cases both parents bear some responsibility for the estrangement and rejection.
A Real Example: Parental Alienation and Court Decisions
The challenges that arise in parental alienation cases are complex. In family court, a finding that a parent alienated a child from the other parent, does not automatically mean a reversal of a custody or access order in favor of the alienated parent. The court remains duty bound to consider all the circumstances and make orders that it considers to be in the best interest of the children. In some cases, in the absence of suitable options, the child’s best interest principle really means - mitigating the risks of harm.
In recent case of Ginese v. Fadel, 2024 ONSC 2427, the court was saddled with this dilemma.
The parties’ 19-year relationship was characterized by manipulative and coercive control from the father. Both parents engaged in adult conflict in the presence of the children. Towards the end of the relationship, the father intensified this negative behaviour, blamed the mother and encouraged the children to take sides with him, while encouraging them to choose if they wanted to have contact with their mother.
After separation and for nearly 5 years, the children (age 16, 15 and 12) had no meaningful contact, except for supervised visits, which were marked by hostility and rejection. The children previously had a loving relationship with their mother. At trial, the mother was seeking an order for a complete reversal of the custody order, such that the younger children (age 15 and 12) would be placed in her primary care. The children’s aid and parenting assessors were involved in this case. The children strongly objected to being placed in their mother’s care and expressed a desire to have no contact with her.
The Court found that the father engaged in severe alienating behaviors, amounting to family violence and coercive control, which caused the children’s complete and unjustified rejection of their mother. The court acknowledged the mother’s role in exposing the children to adult conflict but found her actions insufficient to justify the children’s total estrangement. The father refused to co-operate with reunification efforts.
However, the court was unable to grant the mother’s reliefs. The evidence indicated that the children were already deeply entrenched in the alienation and a reversal of the access order at this stage had a higher risk of a negative outcome for the children including emotional and physical harm. Accordingly, the court held that:
“It is therefore with much regret, and incredible sadness, that I have come to the conclusion on the specific facts of this case that it would not be in E.G. and M.G.’s best interest to place them in their mother’s exclusive care at this point, by way of a custody reversal. They have already been through too much trauma and stress, and the chances of this custody reversal succeeding are – at best – minimal, whereas the risks to the children’s emotional, psychological, and physical well-being associated with a custody reversal are simply too high at this stage”.
Delayed trials are to be avoided in cases of severe alienation, such as this one. Accordingly, the court expressed the following view:
“The passage of time between the parties’ separation and the time this trial was held was way too long. In cases of severe parental alienation, time is of the essence. To correct the course of action effectively and in a long-lasting way, intervention must be timely, and sometimes drastic… In many of these extreme cases, the alienating parent’s behaviours and strategies are easy to detect early in the process, based on written evidence. But an important number of those extreme cases also raise allegations of family violence and of significant and complex mental health issues. These allegations must be carefully explored and are sometimes very difficult to assess without a trial in which all the evidence is presented and tested.”
Accordingly, instead of reversing custody, the court put rules in place to protect the mother’s rights to information, obligating the father to periodically report on the children’s progress and requiring the mother’s consent before being able to travel with them. Essentially, the orders allow the mother to keep an eye on the children’s well-being.
How a Family Lawyer Can Help
Family lawyers are knowledgeable in child custody and Ontario divorce law. An experienced child custody lawyer can guide you through this tough process with a few easy steps:
Review your case: They’ll look at your situation and help you understand your chances of getting more parenting time or changing custody.
Gather evidence: This might include text messages, emails, or reports from teachers or doctors.
Help you avoid court: If possible, they can help you work out an agreement through mediation or negotiation.
Represent you in court: If court is unavoidable, your lawyer will present your side clearly and fight for your child’s best interests.
Tips for Parents Going Through Custody Disputes
If you’re dealing with a custody issue, here are some steps you can take to help yourself:
Talk to a family law lawyer early: Get advice before making any big decisions.
Records: Keep records of anything that shows demonstrates your concerns.
Stay calm: Don’t argue with the other parent in front of the child or try to “get back” at them.
Stick to routines: Make the best efforts to keep things as consistent as possible for your child, e.g. going to the same school, seeing friends, and taking part in activities.
Try mediation: If possible, work out a plan together with the help of a neutral third party.
When Can Custody Be Changed?
Changing custody requires a big change in the circumstances preceding the initial order. This might present as a significant change in the child’s needs or the ability of a parent to meet those needs.
How We Can Help at Michael Iyore Law
At Michael Iyore Law, we believe every child deserves a safe and loving home. Our dedicated team is experienced and works hard to keep families connected, and address parenting concerns, including those that alienate one parent from the other. With the right legal help, you can protect your relationship with your child and give them the best chance to grow up healthy and happy.
If you’re facing a custody challenge, reach out to us today. Let’s talk about how we can help your family move forward.
Disclaimer: This article is for general information only and does not replace legal advice. For help with your specific case, speak to a licensed family lawyer.
